THE EFFECT OF INTRA-FAMILY COMMUNICATION AND PARENTAL ATTITUDE ON ACADEMIC SUCCESS

: Exam preparation processes become very important for students, families and instructors. Problems and disruptions experienced or likely to be experienced in educational processes affect the exams during the school period. When the processes are brought together, similar problems are experienced in the decisive exams that play an important role in the educational lives of the students. In these processes, the relationships of families with students are more important than those of teachers. In this context, education systems are also evaluated as a part of social life and the role of communication within the family comes to the fore while evaluating the examination systems related to the future of the students on a country basis.

Man, who is a social being, has to communicate due to his structure and creation. Over time, people multiplied and began to live in different areas on earth. But they have always needed communication. For this reason, it was a necessity for him to communicate in order to express his needs, wants, feelings and thoughts in the field he was in.
How to start communicating with the other person, information about the personality structure of the other person's attitudes and emotions before deciding whether the communication can be maintained are the elements required for successful communication (Salmış, 2011).
The family is the most important social institution of the society with the individuals it contains. Especially the gains that children have gained from this institution as of their age period. These gains will affect them at every stage of their lives.

Authoritarian Attitude
In this attitude, the parents apply strict discipline. The child is forced to comply with each board (Yavuzer, 2014). A lack of self-confidence occurs in a child who grows up in such a family environment. He can't act the way he wants. It is controlled by his parents. In other words, all kinds of behaviors are kept under control. This does not allow the child to realize himself as it will put the child under pressure. In the face of such a situation, the ground is prepared for the formation of a child who is introverted to the drinker, who is sluggish and lacks courage.

Loose Attitude
In such an environment, the child is the only person in the family who has the initiative and the other family members unconditionally comply with his wishes (Yavuzer, 2014). In this attitude, the problem caused by excessive love is observed. As in every stage of life, there must be a certain degree of attitudes and behaviors within the family. The scarcity or excess of this love creates various problems.
A child who grows up with a child-centered attitude does not know what to do when he is under an order or in a supervisory environment later in his life, almost like a fish out of water. Since the relaxed attitude he has seen from the mother and father will be expected by all segments of the society, a contrary attitude will cause the child to falter. However, a mother and father who prepare children for life should be aware of such negativity in advance and take the necessary measures.

Indecisive Attitude
The imbalance and inconsistency here can be seen in the difference of opinion between the parents as well as in the variable behavior of the mother or father (Yavuzer, 2014).
Any decisions to be made in the family should first be consulted by the parents. Attitudes should be exhibited in line with the common decision to be taken afterwards. To a behavior in which the mother is angry, the father has the opposite attitude; if the mother approaches a behavior in which the father is angry with the opposite attitude, the child will be surprised. I wonder if it's true what my mother did or what my father did? Questions like these will cause confusion in the child.
Parents who indicate that junk food should be avoided in order to eat healthy and balanced eating junk food at every opportunity. In an environment where their discourse and actions are inconsistent, the child will be adversely affected. The message to be given to the child must first be consistent within itself.

Protective Attitude
Parental overprotection means that the child is given too much control and care when necessary (Yavuzer, 2014).
A protective attitude will hinder the child's ability to struggle. It will prevent the child from self-actualizing. The attitude of always being around my child with the thought that something will happen and supposedly being with you will deprive the child of the ability to be yourself.

Disinterested Attitude
An indifferent and indifferent attitude means that the parents exclude the child in the form by leaving him alone, or ignoring him (Yavuzer, 2014).
Children want constant attention from the age period they are in. He has a nervous nature in the face of the attention he does not receive from the family. Thus, it comes to a level that can harm its surroundings. In addition, since the child will feel worthless when ignored, this negative attitude will affect him negatively in all areas.

Reassuring Attitude
In such an attitude, the limits of the behaviors that are accepted and not accepted at home are clear. Within these limits, the child is free. He has a say. Their feelings and opinions are respected (Yavuzer, 2014).
The child whose feelings and opinions are respected sees himself as valuable in the family. Gains self-confidence. Thanks to this self-confidence, they reach the responsibility of being able to make their own decisions. Such an acquisition will positively affect him at every stage of his life.

The Effects of Positive Communication in the Family on a Child's Educational Achievement
In order for the child's academic success to work well in school, this relationship with his / her external environment must be consistent way. Of course, the family is at the top of these circles. Because the environment where the child's first learning takes place and the first role models are located in the family. For this reason, the family plays a very important role in the educational success of the child.
Many studies on family participation have revealed the relationship between family participation and academic achievement at home and school, and family participation has been identified as an important predictor of students' school success (Keçeli, 2008).

The Effects of Negative Communication in the Family on the Child's Educational Success
An important issue that affects the child's school success is an uneasy family environment where there are arguments and fights caused by a lack of communication. These conflicts and arguments between parents affect all family members. As a result, the child will not be able to achieve the necessary success in school under this influence.
Any interaction that occurs in the family has an important place in the child's life. This interaction will also determine his place in society. This interaction has many negative dimensions. One of them is that it affects educational success.
The child who reaches the age of education will go to school, which is a different environment from the family environment that lacks communication. Here he will exhibit the achievements he has made in the family. In a restless family with a lack of communication, the child becomes estranged from the mother and father. Family ties are severed. The child who is drawn into himself becomes agitated in and around the school. As a result of these negative behaviors, he begins to be excluded. He becomes unable to devote himself to his lessons.
In a family environment where there is negative communication within the family, the following behaviors that affect the educational success of the child are performed: 1) The first child is blamed for a problem with the school.
2) He is not given the opportunity to express himself.
3) In an assignment that he is forced or unable to do, the epithet "retarded" is made. 4) Parents do not set an example for the behaviors that the child is asked to do. 5) Constant comparisons are made with the child's peers.
6) The mistakes made by the child are constantly brought to the agenda. The family, which is the most important structure of society, has an important position with the individuals it contains. Especially the individuals in this structure express themselves in the institutions or environments where they are in social life with the gains they have achieved. They exhibit their behavior. The gains achieved and the behaviors exhibited are closely related not only to the family but also to society. Parents should be especially careful with regard to children. The children, whom we express as the guarantees of our future, will be shaped by our directions and behaviors and will direct their lives. This important detail should never be overlooked. In short, parents are the first teachers of children, and their primary school with a family environment. As a society, we will reap what we sow.
Especially communication within the family is of great importance for us to gain or lose children. Positive communication between parents and children will allow us to win the child over. On the contrary communication, we build walls between us and the child and lose him. Parents need to have the necessary knowledge and skills about communication within the family. Because in order to do something, it is necessary to know it. It is necessary to read and research to know. Here the mother and father should analyze well what they should and should not do on behalf of their child, who is their most valuable asset.
While providing communication within the family, they should use verbal, nonverbal and written communication effectively. They should reinforce this communication with words, words and small notes that will make him happy. The child, who cannot achieve love, respect, tolerance and empathy in the family environment, experiences great difficulties in the later age periods. Achieving these gains takes place in a family environment with strong communication. In a family with strong communication, children should be given the opportunity to express themselves. It should not be constantly criticized and blamed. When he does wrong, his mistake should be expressed in the appropriate language and should not be slapped in the face.
When we look at the results of the research, it has been revealed that positive communication within the family has a positive effect on the educational success of children. If all these are taken into consideration, if we want our children to be successful throughout their education life, we should pay close attention to communication within the family. Let's not forget that the starting point of the traces where the steps of success are taken and will be left to live in the family and the parents.

Test Anxiety in Children
The social and economic changes in the world make education more important every year. In addition to giving more importance to education, the door opened by exams cannot be ignored. For this reason, students and their families also attach great importance to exams. In the process of transition to high schools and universities, students face fierce competition. Considering the placement of students in school in 2019, it is seen that students who apply for the exam are able to enter a smaller number of universities, given the location of the school. Under these circumstances, students are under pressure to score high while preparing for the exam and go through a difficult and painful psychological process. Students who take exams under the pressure of all this hard preparation and high score expectation often experience such intense test anxiety that they cannot reflect on their real performance (Arkan ve Altunel, 2019;Güler ve Çakır, 2013, 82-94).
With the exception of high school and university entrance exams, Turkey's entire education system is said to be largely "successful" oriented. The aim of the education system is not to raise learning, knowledgeable and conscious students, but to raise "successful" students. The truth behind the word "success" here leads students to see exams as an end rather than a tool. The purpose of the exam should be to understand the student's level of learning, shortcomings and mistakes. So get the right knowledge and success by making mistakes in these exams. However, in the current system, students can only learn to "succeed" in exams and evaluate accordingly. For this reason, the information learned before the exam is not permanent and students experience intense anxiety both before and during the exam (Yıldırım ve Ergene, 2003, 224-234).
The only concern of teachers, students and parents is the phenomenon of "success", which leads to the neglect of children's physical, emotional and social problems. Young people, who struggle with many mental, physical and sexual problems, especially during adolescence, prepare for exams and therefore ignore problems that can lead to serious problems in the future. For this reason, school guidance services usually focus on "how to study exams more effectively" rather than the problems that children may encounter in this period (Yıldırım and Ergene, 2003, 224-234). "Success" is at the forefront of the current education system and focuses society on success. The fact that society is success-oriented and oppressive, and that students are evaluated in social environments can lead to stress and anxiety. (Karaduman ve Kilmen, 2018, 101-115). Many studies have emphasized that exam stress is very harmful to human health (Costarelli ve Patsai, 2012;Steptoe, Wardle, Pollard, Canaan ve Davies, 1996, 171-180).
The influence of parents on their children can be seen in many ways throughout a child's life. Parents don't just lay the foundations for a child's personality. The influence of the family is also reflected in the future life of the children, their educational life and career choices. Considering this situation, it can be said that the influence of the family on the child, the attitudes and behaviors of the child and even every word said are very important. Both exams play an important role in determining the lives of students in the current Turkish national education system. One determines which high school the student will attend, and the other determines which university he will attend. Considering the importance of exams in the Turkish national education system, the exam success of students is also very important for parents. It seems that parents sometimes forget about their children's physical and mental needs and problems and focus only on their children's test scores. This can lead to some undesirable consequences. In many cases, the anxiety generated by the thought that a student may fail may seem exaggerated to parents. For many parents, failing exam results are seen as the end of everything (Hanımoğlu ve İnanç, 2011, 351-366).
Parents can reflect these thoughts to their children with different wrong attitudes, and if the results are lower than their plans, they can reflect these thoughts to their children by thinking that students will not have other school options, they will not be able to recover and their future. In this case, exams have become a matter of life and death for the whole family (Hanımoğlu ve İnanç, 2011, 351-366). Parents may inadvertently engage in behaviors that negatively affect students in order to motivate children and increase their success. Parents' oppressive and stubborn attitudes not only damage their relationships with their children, but also cause their self-esteem to drop. The perfectionist attitude of parents whose expectation of success is higher than the potential of their child, their constant criticism, their use of physical and verbal violence, and the comparison of their children's success levels with other students are other factors that negatively affect the self-confidence of the students (Yavuzer, 1990). Parents' negative attitudes towards their children's exams can increase their children's test anxiety. Moderate test anxiety is known to negatively affect exam results. However, due to family contribution, children's current test anxiety can reach very high or very high levels, leading to a decrease in children's academic and test scores (Hanımoğlu ve İnanç, 2011, 351-366).

Conclusion and Recommendations
The better the parents' attitudes and the more supportive and reassuring the family, the more developed the communication within the family, and the more exam anxiety decrease in the child during the exam period in the family environment where there is a developed, efficient and healthy intra-family communication dynamic, and the higher the success rate is seen in the child whose exam anxiety decreases. Accordingly, the study has shown that; one of the most important arguments for people, education and communication is efficiency and sincerity. Every parent, without exception, wants their child to be successful. However, the way in which even the message of wanting something is conveyed greatly affects the result of the desired success. Just as it is possible for the concept of love to be the best for human beings but sometimes the way it is shown to turn into a destructive, damaging or even the most undesirable form, parents can make their children whom they have raised with love serve the opposite of what is desired due to the mistakes and mistakes made in terms of the way they want their children to want their success and to apply and show the naturalness of their efforts for it.
Therefore, the explicit expectation of children in the family is not to show their parents unconditionally their desire for success for themselves, to show their love unconditionally, to show productive directions without irritating and to know that their parents are with them in all circumstances by sincerely appreciating the achievements achieved. Another important point is to accept parents that the phenomenon of success consists of certain social patterns and to make them feel that only high scores indexed in exams are valid as a level of success in the children's world. It should not be forgotten that every child is the unexplored planet of his own universe, and just as fingerprints carry the traces and story of each child's world. What will make families happier than "successes" is the happiness of their children, so perhaps spending and consuming the best ages that family members can communicate with the most and sincerely because of the concerns we create with our own perceptions and interests means a society of successful but unhappy, together with but disconnected families at the end of the story.